“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
Henry Ford

Like Henry Ford said 100 years ago, how you think about yourself inside is so important.  It’s not just important – it’s everything!  All aspects of our lives are dictated by this very statement.  Including buying your first home. 

So, how are you feeling about starting the process?  Do you have an ‘I got this.’ attitude?  Or are you wondering whether or not you’ll be able to handle this monumental purchase?

By the way, you don’t have to be “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson confident.  It’s ok to be unsure of yourself going into anything new and daring.  But, having the right amount of confidence in yourself will make the process go so much better.  

In fact, you’ll even be able to have fun throughout it.

So in this article, we’re not going to talk about things like improving your credit score, your bank balance, and your income.  There’s plenty of articles on this website about those things.  

Instead, we’re going “inside” so to speak to help you work on improving your confidence.  A ‘can do’ attitude is just what you’ll need to jump all the hurdles you’ll be overcoming during the homebuying process.

Like they say . . . 

“WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING!”

Here are 10 Things You Can Do to Gain Confidence:

1. Notice Your Thoughts  

Did you know we have over 60,000 thoughts a day?

Studies have proven that in an average person, 80% of them are negative. That’s a lot of thoughts.  And more importantly, that’s a lot of negative thoughts!  

Start becoming aware of the thoughts that are trolling through your mind, saying things like:

• “I can’t do this.”
• “I’m not smart enough or capable enough or (fill in the blank) enough.”
• “Something bad is going to happen.  It always does.”
• “What was I thinking? I should know better.”
• “It’ll be awful.”

One of the biggest problems is that our thoughts are so fleeting and elusive.  But with practice, little by little, you can start noticing the useless, negative ones that are doing you no good.

Then you can replace them with better thoughts like:

• “I can do this.”
• “I am smart enough, capable enough, and (fill in the blank) enough.”
• “Good things always happen.”
• “Think of all the accomplishments I’ve made through the years.”
• “It’ll be great!”

Think this is corny?  Would you call 250 lb. pro football players corny?  All professional athletes have learned to change negative thoughts around.  They don’t just train their bodies – they train their minds as well. 

2. Talk to Yourself Right

The joke has always been that someone who talks to themselves must be crazy.  

But, the joke’s on all of us.  Because like I mentioned above, science shows we talk to ourselves silently all day long.  It’s how our brains work.  

And if you’re stressed; if you are worried; if you have very little confidence in yourself – the simple fact is your self talk is negative.  It’s the equivalent of having a frenemy in your ear all day long putting you down.  

Like the examples above, you can turn the negative thoughts around with affirmations.  

People like to poke fun at affirmations.  But, if you knew how many famous athletes, entrepreneurs, and achievers through the years have sworn by them, you’d be using them too.

One of the tricks to affirmations is repetition.  Again, that’s because we have over 60,000 thoughts a day streaming through our mind a day.  

“IT’S A NUMBERS GAME!”

Reminding yourself a few times that you can accomplish something just won’t cut it.  You have to keep repeating it over and over again – until it starts ‘sticking’.

And remember – no one can read your mind or hear what you’re saying to yourself.

Your self talk is your secret!

3. Notice Your Feelings

Famous neuroscientist Joe Dispenza says our thoughts are to our minds as our feelings are to our bodies. 

Just like negative thoughts can stream through continuously without us even realizing it – so can the negative feelings that are attached to them. 

You know those moods we all get into?  Those are our negative thoughts and feelings running on autopilot.  We get so used to them, we don’t even notice them.  

“THEY’VE BECOME HABITS.”

But, stressed moods are a waste of time.  Even if you say they are justified because someone did something to you.  Why give that person power over you anyway? 

Watch your moods.  Watch your reactions.   And learn to turn them around.

4. Change the Pictures

Elephant.  Lemon.  Dream house.  

What just happened?  It might have happened so fast, you didn’t notice it.  But, pictures of each one of those flashed in your mind. 

 “OUR MINDS THINK IN PICTURES.”

In fact, you can’t go and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now without first picturing yourself going through all the steps.  It happens in micro-fractions of seconds.  

Think of what is happening when we’re worried.  Negative images and videos are playing over and over again in the back of our mind.  

Just like becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings, start becoming aware of the images playing in the background of your days.  And consciously start changing them around.   

While you’re at it, start picturing yourself in a new home.  Make the images big and bold.  And let them keep playing over and over, so they’ll get installed.

5. Create a Vision Board

Speaking of images, you might already be keeping a Google Drive folder with pictures of houses you like.  This is a good thing not just so you’ll remember the details of houses you like, but it’s good for your mindset as well.  

Have you heard of our reticular activating system (RAS)?  It’s a bundle of nerves at our brainstem that helps us take what we focus on and create a filter for it.  

“THIS IS THE REASON WHY WHEN YOU WANT A SHINY NEW RED CAR, YOU START SEEING THEM EVERYWHERE.”

It’s the science behind the saying, ‘What you focus on expands’.  

Even just looking through houses online on Zillow is a good thing for this reason.  

6. Immerse Yourself 

• Go to open houses. 
• Watch HGTV shows and Youtube videos.  
• Go to Home Depot and Homegoods.  
• Hang out with other homeowners.

Read blog posts like this one here at NewHomebuyerAcademy.com.  

“IMMERSE YOURSELF IN HOMEOWNERSHIP!”

7. Protect Yourself

Stay away from negative people.  

The Debbie Downers, Complaining Connors, and Going Nowhere Gabes.   

“EXPERTS SAY WE ARE THE EQUIVALENT OF THE 5 PEOPLE WE SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH.”  

Make sure you’re spending the most time with positive people. 

Friends, family members, neighbors and colleagues who:

• Have goals and aspirations.  
• Always see the good in the world and in others.  
• Treat themselves and others with respect.  
• You feel good being around. 

8. Raise Your Vibration

Quantum physics proves that we are all resonating at different frequencies.  

Everything is.  And everything is sending out frequencies that are attracting back similar ones.  

Lower frequencies attract more low frequencies to them.  And the same goes for higher frequencies.

States such as fear, jealousy, and worry are on the lower frequencies.  And ones such as confidence, compassion, and love are on the higher frequencies.  

“THAT’S WHY THE CORNY EXPRESSION ‘RAISE YOUR VIBE!’ IS NOT SO SILLY.  IT’S SCIENCE.”

Raising your vibration literally helps attract good things to you.

You can raise your vibration easily by just enjoying what you’re doing: Good food, good music, friends, work, goals, exercise, fresh air, etc., etc. etc.

Want to know a simple secret to raising your vibe?  Gratitude!

9. Act the Part 

You know the expression: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have?  

It’s not about impressing other people.  It’s about impressing upon your mind new thoughts, images and feelings.

“IF YOU WANT TO BECOME A HOMEOWNER, START ACTING LIKE ONE.”

Start doing things like:

• Making sure your finances are in order.
• Creating good money habits, if you don’t already.
• Learning about things like mortgages, home insurance, and home buying.
• Throwing things out you won’t be taking with you.

The good thing is all these things on the ‘outside’ will be helping your mindset.  You’ll be gaining confidence in yourself.  You’ll start seeing yourself becoming a homeowner.

10. Think Less 

This last one sounds contradictory, doesn’t it?

I’ve been talking about our thoughts the whole time.  Now, I’m suggesting you think less.

“THE FACT IS WE ALL THINK TOO MUCH AT TIMES.”

Just think about when we’re angry with someone and it lasts for hours or days.  Even something as simple as getting a song stuck in our heads.

Our thoughts can overrun us.  

So, learning to let go of them creates a better quality of life.  Negative thoughts ruminating in the back of our minds for hours and days is like having a dark cloud hovering over us constantly.

Speaking of clouds, a good practice is letting worrisome thoughts float on by like tiny clouds dissipating into thin air.  

Add to this the practice of just being present with whatever you’re doing.  

Use all of your senses to really see, hear, touch and feel whatever you’re doing.  This seems almost too simplistic.  But it actually strengthens our minds.  It’s powerful!  

Thanks for reading!

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Stay tuned for more articles on all the ins and outs of home buying for first-time homebuyers.

If you’d like to ask me any questions, email me anytime at: paula@michaelandsullivan.com.

Or call: 774-287-5852

Paula